Ayaan strikes Back
Michiel Mans
“Met Ayaan Hirsi Ali/Magan, doorhalen naar keuze.”
-“Ayan? George here. Would you like to get even?”
“Hello Mr President, how do you mean get even?”
-“Hell, you’re one of the few in ..rr..the Netherlands who stands up to these mad mullahs and they kick your pretty butt out of the country. I’d nuke them.”
“That’s a bit drastic Mr President, besides ’they’ don’t represent all the Dutch. Far from.”
-“Yeah, I know. There’s an idiot living in Amsterdam who writes bile to Ahmadingbad and Khadaffyduck. He even sends me copies. Is he still breathing?”
“I don’t know Mr President.”
-“Anyway, just wondering if I could help teaching these dope heads in Copenhague a lesson.”
“You mean The Hague?”
-“Yeah, whatever. Jeeezzus fuckin’ Christ what a trouble I had getting these limp peacedicks into Uruburu.”
“Well, you do have me interested now. There are a few people whom I would like to remember me. If you understand what I’m talking…”
-“How about blowing it up?”
“I thought we’d been there?”
-“I’m talking about the government, tackle them.”
“A black persona non grata doing in a white government, that would be something. How?”
-“Well it’s not my idea but someone from one of my thingy tanks came up with it.”
“Thingy tanks? I don’t foll..”
-“Yeah, you know, something you do with the stuff some people have between their..’rr..eyes?”
“Ah, a think tank. I’m all ears.”
-“Here is the plan. We make some fuzz about urgence in getting some administrifications in order and we need your passport and shit. That puts you in a bit of a vulnerable position right?”
“Yess…maybe.”
-“Right. It takes one to know one but our guess is that a real political dirtbag, in return for a quick fix in paperwork, will want you to mea pulpa for the uproar your fast ..’rr..exit caused.”
“Mea pulpa? You mean mea culpa.”
-“Whatever, I never had anything with French. It’s all Egyptian to me.”
“I see. But how would this sink the government?”
-“Well, after you sign whatever they want you to sign, you subtibely suggest they forced you to sign.”
“So? Shovelling dung on the shit exchange happens all the time in politics.”
-“I know, do it all the time but this time it will have ramifirifications, a twist.”
“How do you mean?”
-“Inside information. You know that line about hell is a furious woman scorned?”
“Yess…and?”
-“We know that this Louis vande Lame woman is rather pissed off with some pansydandy party dude who won something and according to my notes he is heading her party now and he has his ass in the government. A strange construction which gives us nice ..rr..opportunitalities.”
“I begin to see where you’re heading.”
-“Good, you’re a smart kid Ayan. I like you black chicks. We could do with some more Connies in the Administration. Interested?”
“But I’m Dutch, well maybe, sort of.”
-“Hey, this is America. If you want to be an American and we want you to be an American, we make you an American. We can get things done pretty pronto over here. If we want to…”
“Well, I’m flattered Mr President. I’ll seriously think about it.”
-“Anytime Ayan, anytime. Nice talking to you.”
Aldus geschiedde…
Michiel Mans (1956) is grotendeels autodidact, een ‘lezer’ met interesses in geschiedenis, filosofie, politiek en wetenschap. Hij komt uit een nest van ‘boerenverstand’ aan moederskant en een ‘oud koloniaal uitzuigersgeslacht’ aan vaderskant. Een mix van Drents humanisme en rechts reactionair in een liberale, sceptische saus.
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